Emmett's Diary
by Im-that-one-chick
Summary: A diary written by one of our favorite vegitarian vampires. Cannon pairings- E/B, Em/R, J/A, and C/Es
1. December 8th

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the actual idea here. Please don't sue!

December 8th Dear diary,

Today was the first snowfall of the year. Edward, Alice, and I made snowmen but then Rose went on one of her little rampages and destroyed mine. It's not my fault I got the interior of her car got wet. It shouldn't have been there when I was washing my Jeep.

After we made snowmen (I had to remake mine), we went to a mall in Seattle. Alice of course had a spaz attack and nearly bought out a few of the stores, But Edward and I went to the video game store and bought a bunch of new games. They never let me get the really violent ones because they say I get "too angry" and "too violent" and then they yell "don't throw the paddles Emmett, they will break." They don't even talk about when they let me get Tetris (traumatic for everyone.) But it's really not my fault they make the paddles out of cheap crappy plastic. I settled on this game called guitar hero and a few others. I don't know what it's about. Edward picked it out. Now he's bugging me to play with him (I could be wrong) so I better go do that.

Bye Diary!

Emmett


	2. December 9th

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the idea on the page

Author's note: Yes I know the time line is off, but it's the only way I can see to make the story I have planned work. If you have any suggestions about the story or anything please comment!

December 9th

Dear Diary,

You know that guitar hero game I told you about yesterday? Well, it turns out that I really like it. I mean _**REALLY**_ like it. I was playing it just a few minutes ago but then Alice threatened to tell Rose about the other time I ruined her leather seats and the time I scratched the paint on the door if I didn't let her play. So now she and Edward are battling and I'm stuck upstairs on Rose's laptop. She said I could use it as long as I didn't break it like her last one, but she needs to remember to pick it up after she leaves the garage. And I am still wondering why it was on the floor to begin with. She still claims it was because she was listening to music, but why would it be right behind my car tires?

Anyways, back to guitar hero. So, last night I went downstairs and it turns out that Edward wanted to play by himself but then I asked why we couldn't play together and he said he wanted to do the career thing and I said we could play the co-op career and he said it wasn't the same thing so I went and told Esme and she made him share. He wasn't the happiest with me for the rest of the night. But then we had to get ready for school and Rose made me get off.

I still think I could have faked "sick" but apparently Esme has been getting calls about when I skip and she said if I ditched again she would take away my car! I mean _my car! _Isn't that a little dramatic? She doesn't take away Edward's piano when she gets angry at him and I told her this and then she asked what Edward had done to get in trouble recently and I was about to blurt something out and a shoe(Alice) , a rock(Edward), a baseball(Jazz), and a curling iron(Rose) came at me at the same time. I now know that when we all ditch, it's not a good idea to tell Esme.

We all went to school, Edward taking his car to get Bella, and I had a good day minus P.E. I hate that class! It is my own personal hell! I hate having to make myself a slow and weak as the stupid humans. They are soooooo slow. We got home and did our homework (Esme makes us do it as soon as we got home "You have no excuse to not do it right now. You are not thirsty, you went hunting on Saturday.") And now here I am! Jasper's yelling at Edward that it's his turn so I'm gonna go see if it's going to result in a wrestling match. I hope so!

Bye Diary!

Emmett


	3. December 10th

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the idea on the page

December 10th

Dear Diary,

Today it was really sunny so we got to stay home. Edward was busy writing some piano stuff and I asked him if he wanted to go hunting. He said no so I went and asked Jazz and he agreed to come with me but only if he could finish his book first, which is lame. I was really bored! So then Alice asked me to come and see her for a minute and she did horrible things to me. I'm not going to say what she did, all I will say is it involved her and Rose and Alice's make-up stash. They are not nice people. Hey! That's funny. They couldn't be nice _people_ if they wanted to! They're vampires! I hope Rose doesn't read this. She would kill me for the "if they wanted to be humans" comment.

So, after I cleaned the layers of foundation, powder and fake eyelashes off, Jazz agreed to come with me before they got to him. Poor Edward being left with them, I'm sure he regrets not coming with me now, and they got some pictures of him! I wonder what Bella's email address is?

Jazz and I got back in time for Carlisle to get home and we all went hiking. It was pretty fun. Rose complained the entire time about how she was getting snow on her boots and I wasn't even going to ask why she didn't want to get snow on her snow boots.

We just got back and Edward is going back to work on his song. It's turning out pretty well. He only composes like this when he is in a really good mood, so it's a pretty good sign. I hope the whole Bella thing turns out well. Edward needs someone so he can stop moping around the house all the time.

Bye diary!

Emmett


	4. December 11th

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the ideas on the page

December 11th

Dear Diary,

I have no idea what to get people for Christmas. We basically get something if we want it, except cars. Carlisle has to approve car purchases.

I think I want to get Esme a Home Depot gift card. I think she would like that. The commercial even says you could get something for everyone there. So it is official. Everyone is getting a Home Depot gift card. Edward is reading over my shoulder. I hate when he does this. And now, I have to think about a different present for him. Alice just walked in and she doesn't want a gift card either. Dang it!

Edward left and I think I want to get him some more sheet music paper and some new pens, and some new boxers so he has something nice to wear around Bella. A pen just hit me in the head. BELLA HAS NEEDS TOO! BELLA IN A NIGHTY! I need to finish this now. Edward is coming back up the stairs to kill me.

Hopefully I will see you again!

Emmett

Author's note: If anyone has any funny Ideas for Christmas presents, let me know!

PS: Thank you so so so so so much for all the subscription alert adds! It really makes me want to write more.


	5. December 12th

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the ideas on the page

Author's note: Comments really help the story move along.

December 12th

Dear Diary,

Edward just left the house without telling anyone. Alice says she has a pretty good idea where he went but he usually tells us. He either went to go watch Bella sleep, or he went to go buy Christmas presents. It's 11:30, so I think it's the first. He has been so weird lately. He is always dressed and ready for torture hall (school) like an hour before he has to leave and then he just bounces around the house all jittery for an hour. It is really annoying, especially when you are trying to finish an essay on Shakespeare that's due first period.

Rose finished her Christmas shopping today. Her and Alice were gone for 5 hours and came back with mountains of bags and boxes. They went to Seattle and Portland. I still have no idea what to get anyone but Esme [Authors note: HINT HINT WINK!]. I think she will like the gift card. I need to go to Ney York and get Rose's present. I think I will go visit her good buddies at Tiffany's. They like me.

I'm gonna go beat Guitar Hero again. I need to get a new copy. This one's getting old. If I have to hear School's out again I will go shoot myself.

Have a good day!

Emmett


	6. December 13th

Thank you to everyone who has read and appreciated my story

Special thanks to: French Shark, Nickalie, Victoria Weasley, BedwardXoXo, Briony97, and melstewarthm.

You guys are awesome! You all get a cookie!

I am going to give everyone an incentive. I want 10 more reviews a chapter and I will write Emmett's view on the meeting of Bella.

Love you all very very much!

Im-that-one-chick


	7. December 13 part 2

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the ideas on the page

Author's note: I am going to be changing up the plot a bit. Not so much you don't know what story it is but just enough that I have time to write until at least new years. Don't get your panties in a bunch.

PS- I am changing the number to 5, because I really want to post that chapter

December 13

Dear Diary,

I really hate Christmas shopping. It makes me almost as depressed as Edward. I spent 3 hours at the mall trying to come up with different things to get for everyone. I only came up with a few ideas. I think for Edward I want to get some whiney 70's music. He hated the music back then; it drove him up the wall. I want to get Alice some of stuff with Tinkerbelle on it. She HATES Tinkerbelle. I don't know why though, she never tells anyone. I want to get Jazz some jazz CDs and some form of a mood ring. I want to get Carlisle _another _set of golf clubs. At one of us does every year, because he is a doctor. Doctors are supposed to play golf. Esme is still getting her gift card. I just have to go get it. This brings us to Rosalie. I still need to go to Tiffany's and get her something. I can't even say what I want to get her because she might be reading this. And then I need to get her something for myself. I really hope she doesn't read this.

Oh! Big news! Alice just told everyone Edward is going to bring Bella over here to meet us! I am very excited. She seems like a funny person. I wonder what she is actually like though. Edward just goes on about how good she smells and why we can't eat her. I wonder how different she is than other humans; because that is one more this he goes on and on about. Alice is bugging me to help get the house ready for the human.

We'll see how this goes,

Emmett


	8. December 14th

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the ideas on the page

Author's note: Eh, I'm being lenient. Have your chapter! But thank you for reviewing! I really hope people like this story. You get a cupcake if you reviewed!

December 14th

Dear Diary,

If I had a bladder, I think I would have peed my pants today. Yes, today was the day Edward brought the love of his life over.

It started with everyone cleaning the house top to bottom, even though Esme never lets anything get dusty. She had me doing "man jobs" like mowing the lawns and trimming hedges. It took forever, and Rose made me take a shower because apparently I smelled like grass. Then she dressed me, because of course I never get to pick out what I wear, but she has a point there. I would probably walk around naked if she didn't make me wear clothes.

Then Esme had the idea that we were going to cook the human food. I actually enjoyed it. We made some sort of chicken and pasta dish. It smelled good. And then they got there.

Edward and Bella walked in the door and Rose left the room. She really does not like Bella. And I, being the supportive husband that I am, had to leave with her. I spent a couple of hours trying to get Rose to go meet her, but she is very stubborn. So I went and introduced myself to Bella. She was very nice and she smelled very good. It was almost floral.

But Esme insisted on feeding the human. Edward said she had already eaten, but I see humans eat way more than they possibly could at school all the time. So we all sat around and watched the human eat her chicken. I think she was uncomfortable, but Jazz worked his magic powers and she was okay.

But the funny stuff happened after dinner when I guess Rose got tired of not being the center of attention anymore so she came and introduced herself to Bella. She was very cordial but at least the human is still alive.

Esme had the wonderful idea of bring out board games. We played sorry and then we played this wonderful game called Apples to Apples, which we had a blast with. But then Rose insisted on getting out Twister and playing that. Now, none of us had every played twister with a human before. They are very uncoordinated. And it ended up with Edward yelling at me and Jazz for cheating. Bella needs to come over more often.

I think I like humans now

Emmett

Author's note: If you guys comment me with suggestions, them being for chapter ideas or for things like Christmas presents, I will most likely use them, as you commenters who saw your ideas in the finished chapter. Thank you again for those, guys! I really do appreciate the help.


	9. December 22nd

Disclaimer- I own nothing but the ideas on the page

Author's note: I had the story jump a few days to speed it up. I really didn't want to do another shopping sitting at home day.

PS: please visit my page and complete the polls to help me decide what path the story will go on. I originally had it planned out to follow the book, but this story really will go as you guys say it should. I like imput!

December 22nd

Dear Diary,

I am very sorry for not writing for so long. It has been very busy around the house, especially with Esme and Alice getting it ready for Christmas. They have decked the halls and have chestnuts roasting on the open fire. I think a lot of it has to do with Bella spending time around the house.

This is the first Christmas where it's not just the same people around getting the same presents; we have a new victim to pile gifts upon. The human says she doesn't want any presents! I mean does she even know us? Half the presents under our tree, which I got to pick out this year, are for her. I got her a first aid kit and a giant ice pack to sleep with for when Edward is hunting. And a pen just hit me in the back of the head. I don't know why he always has pens.

Alice and Esme are so excited for Christmas. It's a time for family which means a lot to both of them. Alice has people who understand her and Esme has the family she always wanted. I don't want to get sappy, but this family means more to me than my actual family did and I do love them all very much.

But, anyways, I am excited for Christmas too. I really want to know what everyone got me. I hope I don't get socks again from Carlisle. I don't know if my sock drawer could hold another 20 pack of argyle socks from the Costco that he loves so much."'Oh look! It's a box of 30 go-gurts! "''But Carlisle, you can't eat go-gurt!'"Esme has threatened to take away his Costco membership card.

I gotta go help put up more decorations. I swear this house is going to be a ball of garland and twinkle lights if they can't control themselves.

Confused as always,

Emmett


	10. December 23rd

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the ideas on the page

Author's note: I need you guys to vote on the poll! Tell me where to take the story

December 23rd

Dear Diary,

Christmas is only two days away! I am excited to see what I got; And Edward is bringing the human over Christmas morning. I am just wondering what everyone else got her.

But anyways, Carlisle won't let any of us in the garage. Rose is about to have a brain aneurism. She keeps storming around the house complaining that she wants to work on her car, but Carlisle is holding steady. And I am hiding in the closet. I don't want to take her wrath. If it is his fault, he can deal with her. Hold on, I will be right back. I am getting called for.

{Twenty minutes later}

That was horrible! Rose was trying to break into the garage, and Jazz and Carlisle couldn't hold her off, because we all know Edward is spending time with Bella. I was sent to calm her down, which resulted with her storming off and taking out her anger on me. They need to appease her for the sake of my safety, if for nothing else.

Okay, she is yelling again. I better go down there.

Give me strength,

Emmett

Author's note: Hey! No story for you until I get more feedback! Its up to you guys when I post again, and I really want to post more, so get cracking!


	11. December 24th Christmas Eve

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the idea on the page

December 24th

Dear Diary,

IT'S CHRISTMAS EVE!!! Edward is getting really antsy for Bella to come over. I just want to see her reaction when she opens the presents I got her. Not to mention, I threw something else in there. Edward would have thrown a pen at my head (I still don't know where he gets all those pens) if he wasn't at Bella's house. He is such a skank.

Carlisle still won't let Rose into the garage. She says she can't anywhere. She does have access to Carlisle's car, which I still don't think was a good idea, so she has been driving around all day wasting gas, which is making Jazz freak out because he is scared of global warming. I really hate Alice for taking him to see that global warming movie. He made all of us sit down and watch it.

And about Edward, He claims that he hasn't done anything with Bella."I don't want to hurt her." I don't believe him, what else is there to do at night? I can't think of a single thing besides like reading, and who would want to do that?

But Edward is bringing her over in a couple of hours and we get to open presents! Esme is down filling stockings and putting the last few presents under the tree. I am worried what Alice got for the human. I hope she doesn't scare her off.

I like having Bella around. She falls a lot and I think it's hilarious. I mean, could Edward have picked out one that hurts herself more? Ah…

But what happens when the human really hurts herself? I mean we could actually kill her. I'm worried about Jasper if anything happens. He just isn't as strong as the rest of us when it comes to stuff like that. Bloodshed is not an acceptable thing around here.

Okay, I'm gonna go help get everything set up before Esme has a heart attack. I'm worried what would happen if Carlisle wasn't here to control her sometimes. Poor human.

Counting the minutes,

Emmett

* * *

Yay! one day till christmas! What's in the garage? What did Alice get for Bella?

All to be answered on the next episode of Emmett's Diary!

okay, A little too dramatic?

A cupcake to whoever comments. and this one will be special!


	12. Decebmer 25th Christmas

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the ideas on the page

Author's note: Finally! The Christmas chapter has arrived! And, yes it is the Christmas chapter. I promise.

December 25th

Dear Diary,

_**Merry Christmas! **_I got a laptop from Esme and Carlisle. They are so nice. 

Okay. Today before Bella got here, Edward came home to clean up and Carlisle decided to give us our presents form him. WE GOT NEW CARS!!!!!!! I got a new jeep (its orange!), Edward got a new Maserati, Alice got a Murcielago, Rose got a continental, Jazz got this green menace, Esme got a Swedish thing and Carlisle got himself this Italian thing. {Author's note- the links are on my profile}I love Christmas.

Okay after everyone was done freaking about the cars, Edward went and got the human.

Bella was wearing a cream sweater and a red skirt. The only reason I know this is because Rose was going on about how dumpy she looked, but I thought she looked nice.

Now onto the presents. Well, you know what I got everyone. From everyone else…

I got the car, and my laptop from Carlisle and Esme, A watch and some pajamas(not that I will be wearing them, she should know that…) from Rose, an iPod from Edward, a bunch of new video games from Jazz (we all know they're really for him) and a bra and panties set from Alice. That was embarrassing. I really love my presents.

Alice got Bella a new wardrobe and a promise to take her to Seattle for a makeover, Edward made her a CD of all the Piano stuff he wrote for her and some other mushy crap, rose got her a box of candy canes and a pair of socks , Jazz got her some books (loser), and Carlisle and Esme got her a laptop, I swear they don't know how to down play Christmas and they knew that was all she would let them get her (her birthday will be fun.:+)).

So all in all it was actually a fun Christmas and I would write more but my car is calling my name.

I most likely won't see you later!

Emmett

AN: Like I mentioned, the cars are on my profile.

PS: comment please! Tell me if you liked it!


	13. December 26th

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the ideas on the page.

December 26th

Dear Diary,

Why do women like to go shopping at 5 o'clock in the morning the day after Christmas? THEY ARE CRAZY! That's why. So needless to say, Rose and Alice took Jazz and I shopping in Seattle at some mall. It was a mad house! Shouldn't people be spending time with their families? I remember when Christmas was a time for families, but oh no, not anymore.

The trip wasn't bad, it's not like we get tired, it was the waiting in the dark for 2 hours just to get a good deal on towels and digital picture frames! Edward was sitting in a nice quiet house while we were yanking flower pots and video games from other people. IT SUCKED!!!!!

Finally after we got home, I got to play some video games. I WON AND JAZZ DIDN'T! I am so much better at driving games than him. I beat him by a whole .2367 seconds! That is so much better than normal.

Rose has been fawning over her new car, spending more time than it than me, which is pretty normal but I think this one is her new favorite. She says the blue sets off her hair nicely, but it really demeans the man in me. I think I just heard Edward laughing at me. He really hurts my feelings sometimes. BELLA IN A NIGHTY!!!!! Ha! Oh holy crap I gotta go!

Emmett

* * *

God its been forever since I wrote anything! Sorry about the mini-hiatus! I had some family things going on so Ive been really busy, but I had some really good ideas so i had to come write!

Love always!  
Im-that-one-chick


	14. December 27th

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the ideas on the page

Author's note: I have had a really busy week, so I haven't been able to write anything. Sorry!

December 27th

Dear Diary,

I wish I could have fangs. In all the movies, the vampires have fangs. I think it would be really cool. Carlisle said we couldn't have fangs because we would scare people, but still, I think it would be awesome!

There are only a few days until new years, and I am excited. Were having Bella over to count down and have a sleepover. I wonder what humans do at this sort of thing. I have only had sleepovers with other vampires, like our buddies up north.

It's a Saturday, and there is no school today, so I am very bored. We all went hunting pretty recently, and I beat all my video games, so I have nothing to do except this. It sucks to not be able to sleep because I have a feeling I would be doing that right now. But I think I'm gonna go.

Bye Compy,

Emmett


	15. bye bye!

Okay people,

I have officially run out of inspiration for this story. I have tried to write a bunch more chapters but I can't come up with anything.

Thank you for the AMAZING following I have had but I think I am done.

I'm gonna start writing more one shots and maybe when I come up with something write another big story, so keep tabs on me.

Love you guys!

That one chick


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